Frage: Wieviele Hardware Entwickler benötigt man um eine defekte Glühbirne auszutauschen? Antwort: Keinen. Die Störung wird mittels der Software behoben. Frage: Wieviele Systemprogrammierer benötigt man um eine defekte Glühbirne auszutauschen? Antwort: Keinen. Die Anwendung kann um den Fehler herum arbeiten. Frage: Wieviele Softwareentwickler benötigt man um eine defekte Glühbirne auszutauschen? Antwort: Keinen. Es wird darauf im Handbuch verwiesen. Frage: Wieviele Handbuchautoren benötigt man um einen defekte Glühbirne auszutauschen? Antwort: Keinen. Der User wird es schon lösen. Changing a lightbulb Question: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: None. We’ll fix it in software. Question: How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: None. The application can work around it. Question: […]
WeiterlesenSchlagwort: Computer
Die größten Lügen in der IT
The biggest Lies Three Biggest Software Lies The program is fully tested and bug free. We’re working on the documentation. Of course we can modify it. Three Biggest Hardware Lies We always design for testability. It worked fine on the proto board. That would be much easier to implement in software. Three Biggest Engineering Professor Lies Some day this course will come in handy. These tests are more trouble for me than they are for you. This is the way they do it in the industry. The Three Propositions Software engineering is like looking for a black cat in a dark room. Systems engineering is like looking for a black cat in a dark room in which there is no […]
Weiterlesenluser (8) manual page
LUSER(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS LUSER(8) NAME luser – process to control the clueless induviduals who (mis)use computer systems, peripheral devices and system administrators. Word play on “loser” and “user”. SYNOPSIS luser [-d] [-g <level> ] [-s] <lusername> DESCRIPTION luser is the primary tool a system administrator uses to manage end-user requests. This powerful tool can actually cause the specified user to perform actions as specified by the flags. With no flags, luser deletes every running process owned by the specified <lusername>. OPTIONS -d Disk reclamation mode. Remove all files in the home directory of <lusername>. -g <level> Grovel mode. Causes the specified luser to make an act of contrition to the sysadmin for past sins. The <level> indicates the severity of […]
WeiterlesenGod as a Computer Programmer
Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it’s tedious to step through all those variables.
Weiterlesenuubp (5) manual page
UUBP(5) FILE FORMATS UUBP(5) NAME uubp – Unix-to-Unix beer protocol SYNOPSIS uubp [-acefghlqy] site DESCRIPTION uupb allows the user to transfer beer, ale, or other fermented grain beverages between network sites. Using TCP/IP (telecommunications protocol for imbibing pilsners), uubp encodes beer from a local file system into packets suitable for FTP (fermentation transfer protocol) delivery at a remote IP site. Example: % uubp -c”AMBER” -f0.7 -y0 -q2 198.137.240.100 The preceding example sends two six-packs (-q2) of amber ale (-c”AMBER”) with a fizziness quotient of 70%, brewed using yeast of type 0 (saccharo-myces cerevisiae) to IP address 198.137.240.100, which is the IP address for the White House. RESTRICTIONS Both source and destination sites must be running uubp-daemon. In addition, local restrictions […]
WeiterlesenBekannte E-Mail Adressen
Bill Clinton PRESIDENT@WHITEHOUSE.GOV Al Gore VICE-PRESIDENT@WHITEHOUSE.GOV Hillary Clinton ROOT@WHITEHOUSE.GOV Richard Nixon POSTMASTER@WATERGATE.GOV Josef Stalin CHIEFCOMRAD@KREMLIN.SU
WeiterlesenGod logs in – more UNIX like
In the beginning there was the computer. And God said: % Let there be light! Login: God Password: Omniscient Login incorrect. Try again. Password: Omnipotent Login incorrect. Try again. Password: Technocrat And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. % Let there be light! Unrecognizable command. Try again. % make light Done. % ./heaven && ./earth & # And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. Approx. funds remaining: $92.50. And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2. % Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light Unrecognizable command. Try again. % make firmament Done. % ./firmament […]
WeiterlesenJahr 2000 kompatibel
An: Meinen Chef Von: Blondie RE: Änderung der Jahr 2000 Kalender Ich hoffe, dass ich Ihre Anweisungen nicht mißverstanden habe, denn – um ehrlich zu sein – dieses Y2K Problem macht für mich keinen Sinn. Wie auch immer, ich habe die Umwandlung durchgeführt. Unsere internationalen Kalender sind aus dem Druck wieder da und können nun mit den neuen Monatsnamen verteilt werden: Januark Februark Mak Julk Ich habe ebenso die Wochentage korrigiert: Sundak Mondak Tuesdak Wednesdak Thursdak Fridak Saturdak Nun sollten wir Y to K kompatibel sein. Y2K Compliant To: My Boss From: Blondie RE: Changing calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense […]
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