SYSADMIN(1) USER COMMANDS SYSADMIN(1) NAME sysadmin – responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with the system you’re using. Contraction of “system” and “administrator” SYNOPSIS sysadmin [-ab] [-cd] [-ef] etc…… DESCRIPTION sysadmin takes care of everything, is generally harangued, must be supplied with coffee, chocolate, and alcohol in order to function properly, cannot be exposed to direct sunlight, and must not be allowed to have a life. sysadmin is not intended as a user interface routine; other programs provide user-friendly front ends; sysadmin is used by everyone who can track him [her] down. With no flags, sysadmin reads its standard input up to an EOF, or a line which sysadmin wishes to parse, and then […]
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Ass Icons
We all know those cute little computer symbols called “emoticons,” where :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-( respectively. Well, how about some “ass icons”?
Weiterlesen50 Wege Menschen im Computer Labor zu verwirren
Log dich ein, warte eine Sekunde, setze einen entsetzten Blick auf, schreie laut “Oh mein Gott! Sie haben mich gefunden!” und flüchte. Lache für etwa 3 Minuten irrsinnig und höre dann ganz plötzlich auf und schau jeden der dich anschaut verdächtig an. Wenn dein Computer ausgeschaltet ist, beschwere dich bei dem Supervisor, dass du das blöde Ding nicht in Gang bekommst. Nachdem er es dann angeschaltet hat, warte 5 Minuten, schalte es aus und wiederhole den gesamten Vorgang etwa eine halbe Stunde lang. Tippe wie verrückt, dann stoppe immer wieder einmal und schau dir deinen Nachbarn böse an. Bevor sonst jemand im Rechnerraum ist, verbinde jeden Computer mit einem anderen Bildschirm als dem, mit dem er verbunden ist. Schreib ein […]
WeiterlesenWhat if Dr. Seuss did technical writing?
(You really have to read this one out loud to appreciate it) If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash, then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your […]
Weiterlesen100 things you can do with a 300 bauds modem
Put it under a door and you have a Door Stop Attach a stick and you have a Snow Plow Put it on a shelf and you have a Book End Put it on top of some papers and you have a Paper Weight Put some powder in it and it is a Bomb Shell Throw it and it is a Baseball Put a Satellite Dish on it and you have Great TV reception Put some coils in it and you have a great portable heater Cut some holes and tell your friends you bought it in Holland Attach balloons and it becomes 1 of those things they use to hold Balloons Sell it to someone as a universal adapter […]
WeiterlesenThe Top 50+ Geek T-Shirt Slogans
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN <——– The information went data way ——– Best file compression around: “DEL .” = 100% compression The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding The name is Baud…, James Baud. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! Access denied–nah nah na […]
WeiterlesenComputer Knowledge
Path: athena.cs.uga.edu!emory!ogicse!uwm.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!looking!funny-request From: denelsbe@cs.unc.edu (Kevin Denelsbeck) Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Lessons Learned From Comp 4 Keywords: computer, funny Message-ID: [S317.5889@looking.on.ca] Date: 17 Oct 91 10:30:04 GMT Lines: 97 Approved: funny@looking.on.ca I recently finished up teaching Comp 4, the computer literacy course here at UNC, during a compressed summer session. Comp 4 is an introductory class that assumes NO knowledge of computers among its students, and believe me when I say that this was often the case. The class was great fun to teach, and one of the facets that made it interesting (day-in and day-out) was the wealth of new knowledge that the students imparted to me on tests and examinations. I thought that I’d share some of these nuggets with […]
Weiterlesenbaby (1) manual page
BABY(1) USER COMMANDS BABY(1) NAME baby – create new process from two parent processes SYNOPSIS baby sex [ name ] SYSTEM V SYNOPSIS /usr/5bin/baby [ -sex ] [ -name ] AVAILABILITY The System V version of this command is available with the System V software installation option. Refer to Installing SunOS 4.1 for information on how to install and invoke baby. DESCRIPTION baby is initiated when one parent process polls another server process through a socket connection (BSD) or through pipes in the system V implementation. baby runs at a low priority for approximately 40 weeks then terminates with heavy system load. Most systems require constant monitering when baby reaches it’s final stages of execution. Older implentations of baby required […]
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