Zum Inhalt springen - .Sig! .Sig a .Sog! .Sig it loud! .Sig it .Strog! — Karen Carpenter with a head cold
- And we’ll have fun, fun, fun `till Daddy takes the Modem away!
- 2 + 2 = 5 It HAS to, the computer says so.
- @TOF@TOFIRST@ must be home. The modem is still warm.
- A bad day Modeming is better than any good day working.
- A confident manner is important: Computers can sense this!
- A job is nice but it interferes with my Modeming.
- A Modemer’s telephone bill knows no bounds.
- ACK-NAK-ACK-NAK. Modem in hay fever season?
- After dinner, he said, Your modem or mine?
- After three days without modeming, life becomes meaningless.
- All modems are baud and not Bald
- Another good day; the computer is still working!
- Another victim of Modemus Addictus.
- As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
- Become a programmer–make a living crashing your computer.
- Behind every good computer – is a jumble of wire…
- Bored at 3:00 a.m.? PSSSTTT – got a modem?
- Buy a 14.4 modem so your messages don’t get out even faster.
- Byebyte: Losing a file in your computer.
- CAT.COM started. Computer will furball in five seconds.
- Choosey Modemers choose .GIF
- Citation for slow Modeming: Going 2400 in an HST lane.
- Coming to a TV network soon, Days of Our Modems.
- Coming to a TV soon, Days of Our Modems
- Computer (com-pyoo-ter) n.-Incredibly fast idiot!
- COMPUTER DEPARTMENT – mistake$ made whyle you waite.
- Computer freak number 9,999
- Computer hacking is a Federal offense punishable by fine/imprisonment!
- Computer illiteracy? You mean my computer’s supposed to READ?
- Computer possessed? Add DEVICE=EXOR.SYS to your CONFIG.
- Computer programmers wanted – Some assembly required.
- Computer simulations have imaginary mass.
- Computer, delete @TOF@TOFIRST@’s personnel file, along with @TOF@TOFIRST@, too.
- Computer, load program 9 — Execute
- Computer, Tea, Earl @TOL@TOLAST@, hot.
- COMPUTER.COM installed. SEXLIFE.EXE removed from memory.
- Computers and Fandom – There’s got to be cheaper hobbies!!
- Computers are irrelevant- Windows has been assimilated.
- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
- Computers can never replace human stupidity.
- Computers Rule 01001111 01001011.
- Computers…..the #1 cause of divorces……
- Confidence is important; the computer can sense fear.
- CRUISING: 19200bps modem and 0.5bps fingers!
- Cursor (n): what you become when your computer crashes.
- Dad, do you suppose Santa has a modem?
- Did you say MNP means Modem Needs Pizza?
- Do you know how to keep a Modemer in suspense?
- DOS: Tells a computer what to do with itself!
- Error 0011: Fax Modem Not Responding, Check Hardware
- Faster, Cheaper, More Efficient – Modems or Wives
- Faster, faster, foolish modem! …
- Ferrets are like computer viruses, they get into everything.
- For warm boot, put computer in dryer for 20 minutes.
- FORVAL MODEMS, A Glance Into The Future!
- Fun, fun, fun, ’til her daddy takes her Modem away!
- Gary must be home. The modem is still warm.
- Get your modem runnin’… Head out on the I-way…
- Get your modem runnin, Head out for the Highwaves!
- Guess who taught @TO@ to use a computer…?
- Happiness is a warm modem.
- Happy Modeming, Always!
- Hark! What mail from yonder Modem breaks?
- Have fun and good modeming!
- Help! I’m Modeming … and I can’t hang up!!!
- Home is where the computer is plugged in!
- Honey, our phone bill can’t be that big! I have an HST modem!
- I am SysOp, hear me roar, with modems too fast to ignore…
- I can’t be mistaken – my modem is error-correcting.
- I had a life once….but now I have a modem..
- I know nothing about computers…..therefore I am……..
- I modem down, but they growd back.
- I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walked.
- I used to have a life… Now I have a computer!
- I wish computers would do what I think I asked for!
- I’m a modemer & I’m OK, I post all nite & I sleep all day
- I’m a modemer and I’m OK, I post all night and I sleep all day.
- I’m a Modemer and I’m OK, I sleep all night…
- I’m NOT addicted. I just use the modem all the time.
- I’m Queeg 500, the Red Dwarf backup computer. — Queeg
- If something has to go down on me, why does it have to be my computer?
- If there was a computer in the bathroom, I’d never leave it!
- If it wasn’t for C, we’d be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.
- In need: SlOw 486 computer!! please leave a message!!here!
- Is my modem supposed to smoke like that?
- Is that a modem in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?!?
- Just a modern modem mage cruising the electronic highways.
- Keyboard: a device for entering mistakes into a computer.
- KEYBOARD: Instrument used to enter errors into a computer
- LIVE! Via Modem…
- Lizzie Borden…. America’s FIRST hacker!
- Look, mom: No Modem!
- Lookout World! The Modem is Ringing!
- MacIntosh: Computer with training wheels you can’t remove.
- Maybe my modem cable is faulty…
- Me? … Addicted?? … To Modeming?? … Naah, it’ll never happen!
- Memory parity error – Turn computer on and off 12 times
- Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting.
- Misspelled? No way! I use an error-correcting modem.
- Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting.
- My computer has EMS… Wont you help?
- My computer’s sick…I think my modem is a carrier…
- My modem has premature bauding.
- My other computer is a 386DX
- My other computer is a Timex Sinclair.
- My other computer is a TRS-80 Model 4.
- My other computer is a VAX.
- My other computer is an F-14’s targeting system.
- My other computer is Majel Barrett….
- My other computer looks JUST like @TO@.
- My other modem is a U.S. Robotics Dual Standard.
- Myth #1: The computer only does what you tell it.
- Nice computers don’t go down.
- No carrier? How we gonna land this modem?
- Not tonight, dear. I have a modem.
- Not tonite Honey; I have a Modem!
- Oh give me a phone, with a modem on loan….
- Old Modemers Don’t Die; They Just Get Faxed To Heaven.
- One modem said to another: Hey, you’ve got a nice baud!
- One modem said to another: mind showing me your bits?
- One modem said to the other Do you have to echo every thing I say?
- One modem to another,That’s quite a baud you’ve got.
- OS/2 1/2 an operating system for 1/2 a computer
- Oxymoron: computer security
- Oxymoron: Large-scale Mini-computers.
- Oxymoron: Personal Computer.
- Prevent computer viruses. Install Trojans!
- Put your money where your modem is!
- REAL multitasking – 3 computers and a chair with wheels!
- Remember, to a computer 1 + 1 = 10.
- Save gas. Travel by modem.
- Save gas: Commute by modem
- Save paper……send it by modem#
- Say, Pilgrims! Get all the Modems in a circle!!
- DEVICE=CATNIP.SYS <- driver for cats who compute..
- Error in REALITY.SYS down, Run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)?
- Error locating MAFIA.EXE – program not executed.
- Executing SENILE.COM ….. ERROR: Out of Memory.
- Have you tried X-LAX.EXE for Windoze? … cleans it right up!
- I have a life. C:\VIRGINIA\LIFE.EXE…..See?
- In your CONFIG.SYS you must specify SET BUGS=OFF
- MODERATR.COM FOUND RESTORE TOPIC.ON? (Y/n)
- Need A Lawyer? Email To: oj.simpson@lajail.com for info
- ODOSCAN.EXE: keeps the Quarks off of your hard drive.
- PARODY ERROR: Can’t Find File WEIRD_AL.EXE
- Problem loading SENILE.COM … out of memory.
- Questions? C:\moderatr.exe\shoot\on_sight.run
- Real Programmers use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
- REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/?)
- SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
- SeXDrive ready. Insert SEX.EXE? (Y)(N)
- Technobabble limit exceeded. Del JARGON.EXE Y/N?
- Unable to locate REALITY.SYS – Universe halted!
- Unable to open LEVI.ZIP Continue TAKELEAK.EXE? (y)(N)
- Unlike the cleaning lady, I have to do Windows.
- WIFE.COM not working, MALL.EXE busy, better get $$$.BAT
- .SYS, .COM, .EXE
- ***CONGRESS.SYS corrupt.*** Reset Washinton D.C.? (y/n)
- >>>>>>>>>>>>>>I have a life. C:\MARYLAND\LIFE.EXE…..See?<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
- Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
- ALZHEIMER.COM found . . . Out of . . . something . .
- BOBBITT.SYS NOT FOUND… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- BRAIN.SYS NOT FOUND!!! A)bort, R)etry, F)ail ?
- BREAKFAST.COM Halted …. Cereal port not responding!?
- C code. C code run. Run code, run…please?
- C:\BARNDOOR\OPEN\RUN\ZIP\NOW.EXE /BLUSH
- CAT.COM started. Computer will furball in five seconds.
- COFFEE.COM not found: (A)dd more, (R)eheat, (F)reak out?
- COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.
- Computer possessed? Add DEVICE=EXOR.SYS to your CONFIG.
- COMPUTER.COM installed. SEXLIFE.EXE removed from memory.
- CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
- DEVICE=CATNIP.SYS <- driver for cats who compute..
- /earth: file system full.
- Error in REALITY.SYS down, Run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)?
- Error locating MAFIA.EXE – program not executed.
- Executing SENILE.COM ….. ERROR: Out of Memory.
- Have you tried X-LAX.EXE for Windoze? … cleans it right up!
- I have a life. C:\VIRGINIA\LIFE.EXE…..See?
- In your CONFIG.SYS you must specify SET BUGS=OFF
- MODERATR.COM FOUND RESTORE TOPIC.ON? (Y/n)
- Need A Lawyer? Email To: oj.simpson@lajail.com for info
- ODOSCAN.EXE: keeps the Quarks off of your hard drive.
- PARODY ERROR: Can’t Find File WEIRD_AL.EXE
- Problem loading SENILE.COM … out of memory.
- Questions? C:\moderatr.exe\shoot\on_sight.run
- Real Programmers use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
- REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/?)
- SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
- #SeXDrive ready. Insert SEX.EXE? (Y)(N)
- Technobabble limit exceeded. Del JARGON.EXE Y/N?
- Unable to locate REALITY.SYS – Universe halted!
- Unable to open LEVI.ZIP Continue TAKELEAK.EXE? (y)(N)
- WIFE.COM not working, MALL.EXE busy, better get $$$.BAT
- … êêêêêêê Use JIM_EXON.SYS to end freedom of speech and Modeming! êêêêêêê
- Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got!
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
- Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
- The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
- Did anyone see my lost carrier?
- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
- He who laughs last thinks slowest!
- Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
- “More hay, Trigger?” “No thanks, Roy, I’m stuffed!”
- A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- Error, no keyboard – press F1 to continue.
- There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
- Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
- I wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
- Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control!
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now .
- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
- I won’t rise to the occaasion, but I’ll slide over to it.
- Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
- Double your drive space – delete Windows!
- What is a “free” gift ? Aren’t all gifts free?
- Assassins do it from behind.
- If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
- “Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.”
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
- I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
- Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
- I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
- The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
- Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- When there’s a will, I want to be in it.
- Okay, who put a “stop payment” on my reality check?
- Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
- I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
- We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
- All generalizations are false, including this one.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
- “Criminal Lawyer” is a redundancy.
- Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
- My computer isn’t that nervous…it’s just a bit ANSI.
- My computer’s sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
- Gotta run, the cat’s caught in the printer.
- Honey, I Formatted the Kid!
- Spelling checkers at maximum! Fire!
- Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
- Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
- Hex dump: Where witches put used curses…
- Never violate the Prime Directory! C:\
- Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once…
- Maniac: An early computer built by nuts…
- Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk…
- Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes…
- Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
- Capt’n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!
- C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.
- ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.
- How do I set my laser printer on stun?
- “Today’s subliminal thought is:”
- ‘Calm down — it’s only ones and zeros.’
- ‘…. now touch these wires to your tongue!’
- Computer analyst to programmer: “You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.”
- According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.
- It said, “Insert disk #3,” but only two will fit!
- RAM DISK is not an installation procedure!
- Computers are only human.
- This time it will surely run.
- I just found the last bug.
- The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. -Robert R. Coveyou Oak Ridge National Laboratory
- It’s redundant! It’s redundant! -R. E. Dundant
- Bug? That’s not a bug, that’s a feature. -T. John Wendel
- The programmer’s national anthem is ‘AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH’. -Weinberg, p.152
- On a clear disk you can seek forever. -Computerworld button
- I write all my critical routines in assembler, and my comedy routines in FORTRAN. -Anonymous
- If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
- the process of putting them in. -Dykstra
- “#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) – Shakespeare.”
- “Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE”
- Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence…
- To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
- If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0
- Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can’t be fixed…
- Microwave: Signal from a friendly micro…
- Nostalgia: The good old days multiplied by a bad memory…
- God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.
- Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
- From C:\*.* to shining C:\*.*
- AAAAAA – American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous
- CCITT – Can’t Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
- This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
- Todays assembler command : EXOP Execute Operator
- Justify my text? I’m sorry but it has no excuse.
- Programming is an art form that fights back.
- “Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?”
- All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
- Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER
- My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
- Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
- Nobody has ever, ever, EVER learned all of WordPerfect.
- To define recursion, we must first define recursion.
- Good programming is 99% sweat and 1% coffee.
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