100 things you can do with a 300 bauds modem

  • Put it under a door and you have a Door Stop
  • Attach a stick and you have a Snow Plow
  • Put it on a shelf and you have a Book End
  • Put it on top of some papers and you have a Paper Weight
  • Put some powder in it and it is a Bomb Shell
  • Throw it and it is a Baseball
  • Put a Satellite Dish on it and you have Great TV reception
  • Put some coils in it and you have a great portable heater
  • Cut some holes and tell your friends you bought it in Holland
  • Attach balloons and it becomes 1 of those things they use to hold Balloons
  • Sell it to someone as a universal adapter
  • Put a light bulb in it and you have a Decorative Walkway Light
  • Use it as a coaster for your favorite drink
  • Give it to your Uncle, he’ll find something to do with it
  • Hook it on your TV and it is a TV adapter for your Television
  • Sell it as a Black Box.
  • Save water by putting it in the toilet tank!
  • Use it as an anvil
  • Isn’t that the age at which you can LEGALLY drink?
  • It could be one of those useless props at a school play
  • Get a hammer and vent your stress out on it
  • Make a few adjustments and turn it into a radio
  • Use the parts to make a board game
  • Make a Nintendo game out of it
  • Put in a processor and sell it as the world’s chunkiest computer
  • Take it out when the guests come over and it is a decoration
  • Put it on the Christmas tree and it is an Ornament!
  • Use it as a Saxophone Damper
  • Make it into a parallel port DAC
  • Use it to make a model car
  • Trade it in for a new life
  • Use it as a footrest
  • Take it to sports games and have it signed like a baseball
  • Pad it, cut it, and you have a new pair of knee-pads
  • Isn’t that MTV?
  • Use it as a snow sampler
  • Attach it to the Principal’s Laptop Computer and say it is a tumor
  • Cut some holes in it and use it as a Disk Store
  • Sell the parts to a techie nerd and make a lot of money
  • Use it to stop your car in an emergency
  • Drop it off a boat with a string and it is an anchor
  • Use it to scan for fish in a lake
  • Make your phone into a speaker phone
  • Take it to your next party and it will be the talk of the town
  • Sell to the Tabloids and say it is possessed by Elvis
  • Use it with your Lego to make a computer
  • Bang it on your bald head and instantly grow hair
  • Use it as a murder weapon
  • Make some adjustments and it is an EPROM programmer
  • Give it to Ray Charles and tell him it is endless “Uh, huh”
  • Use it to upgrade the warp drive on a constitutional class space vessel
  • Attach some strings and use it as a sled
  • Attach roll bars and it is a dune buggy
  • Use it to keep your dog in place in the yard
  • Threaten your little brother with it
  • Get all of your friend’s 300BPS modems and make a house out of them all
  • Make it into a `Radio Flyer’ by adding wheels and a pole
  • Need a quick science project? Bring in your modem!
  • Cut a hole and use it as a planter
  • Strap it onto your head and pretend that you are Cadet Stimpy
  • Get a few lenses, some film, and make a movie camera
  • Get a plug, and send some voltage through someone’s modem
  • You know how there are `pet rocks’? How about a `pet modem’?
  • Throw it out
  • Sell it to an idiot for $100 and buy yerself a faster modem
  • Put it in the snow and use it as a depth meter
  • Stick it on the wall and call it ART
  • Use it as a stepping stool
  • Put pepper in it and it could be a pepper shaker
  • Cut a hole in it and use it as a cereal bowl
  • Paint it red play bocce (yard game w/heavy balls)
  • If you are Jewish you could strap it on and use it as Tefillin
  • If you have a big dog, give it to him as a chew toy
  • Cut a hole and put stuff in it
  • Put it in the attic and one day, it may be worth MONEY!
  • Make a Doll House out of it
  • A window box to put flowers in
  • Make it into a lantern
  • Give it to the neighbors
  • Use it as a subject for painting (still life)
  • Make it into a tunnel for your slot cars
  • Recycle it
  • Put it by the door and call it “Matt”
  • Throw it in the water and call it “Bob”
  • Hang it by the door and call it “Bell”
  • Use it as a booster chair
  • Throw it in the lake
  • Give it to the phone company
  • Bury it
  • Take it to Florida and sell it
  • Shape it into a Wok
  • Take it to an antique shop
  • Paint it all kinds of colors
  • Take it for a walk
  • Put it on a hat and say “Well, what did you expect?”
  • You know that a penny could kill from the top of the World Trade Centers? Great, THROW THE MODEM!
  • Anything that you want to!

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