Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in South Georgia

• Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
• Instead of an hourglass icon, you’d get an empty beer bottle
• Occasionally you’d bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag
• Dialog boxes would give you the choice of “Ahh-ight” or “Naw”
• Instead of “Ta-Da!”, the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
• The “Recycle Bin” in Winders ’95 would be an outhouse
• Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you’d hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling “Freebird!”
• Instead of “Start Me Up”, the Winders ’95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart
• PowerPoint would be named “ParPawnt”
• Microsoft’s programming tools would be “Vishul Basic” and “Vishul C++”
• Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
• Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
• Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers.
• New Shutdown WAV: “Y’all come back now!”
• Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called “Cuz”
• Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
• Microsoft Office replaced with Micr’sawft Henhouse
• Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver
• Well, the first thing you know, old Bill’s a billionaire…
• Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
• Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator
• Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
• Instead of computer golf, the games of choice would be:
  • Interactive WWF Rasslin’ (That’s wrestling for you culturally deprived types)
  • Beer bottle toss at roadsigns
  • Mud Boggin’
  • ‘Bacca spittin’ at insects
• Instead of MS “virus scan”, it would be MS “Cooties (Lice) Rinse”
• Not “config.sys” and ‘autoexec.bat”– but “conjugate w/sis” and “autoparts.bunch”
• Instead of error tones, misstruck keys would be met with sound of “Aww Sheeit”
• Solitare would offer choice of “number of players”
• Icon for mail trashcan shaped like a Dipsey Dumpster.
• All shapes in Tetris would be same-sized squares.
• Favorite adult www homepage would involve pictures of “sexy” farm animals.