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• 586: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

A

• ARG: Agree to run garbage

B

• BBT: Branch on binary tree
• BBW: Branch both ways
• BEW: Branch either way
• BH: Branch and hang
• Bit: A word used to describe computers, as in “Our son’s computer cost quite a bit.”
• BMR :Branch multiple registers
• BOB: Branch on bug
• BOD: Beat on drum
• BOI: Byte operator immediately
• Boot: What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills.
• BPDI: Be polite, don’t interrupt
• BPO: Branch on power off
• BST: Backspace and stretch tape
• Bug: What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list.

C

• CEMU: Close eyes and monkey with user space
• Chips: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.
• CLBR: Clobber register
• CLBRI: Clobber register immediately
• CM: Circulate memory
• Copy: What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at the computer and not enough time studying.
• CPAR: Crumple paper and rip
• CRB: Crash and burn
• CRR: Convert to Roman Numerals
• CU: Convert to unary
• Cursor: What you turn into when you can’t get your computer to perform, as in “You $#% computer!”
• CZZC: Convert zone to ZIP code

D

• DC: Divide and conquer
• Disk: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip.
• Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
• DMPK: Destroy memory protect key
• DNPG: Do not pass go
• DO: Divide and overflow
• Dump: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your computer.
• DWIMNWIS: Do what I mean, not what I say

E

• EIOC: Execute invalid opcode
• EMPC: Emulate pocket calculator
• EPI: Execute programmer immediately
• EROS: Erase read-only storage
• Error: What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to “just look.”
• EXOP: Execute operator
• EXPP: Execute political prisoner
• Expansion: Unit The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.

F

• FSRA: Forms skip and run away

G

• GFD: Go forth and divide
• GFM: Go forth and multiply

H

• HCF: Halt and catch fire

I

• IBP: Insert bug and proceed
• IIB: Ignore inquiry and branch

L

• LCC: Load and clear core

M

• MBF: Multiply and be fruitful
• MLR: Move and lose record

N

• NFS: Nightmare File System

P

• PBC: Print and break chain
• PD: Play dead
• PDSK: Punch disk
• PI: Punch invalid
• POPI: Punch operator immediately
• PS*: Punch obscenity
• PSD: Pause and smoke dope
• PVLC: Punch variable length card

R

• RAT: Random Access Tape
• RD: Reverse directions
• RDS: Read sideways
• RIRG: Read inter-record gap
• RPM: Read programmer’s mind
• RSC: Read and shred card
• RSD: On read error self destruct
• RSTOM: Read from store-only memory
• RWCR: Rewind card reader

S

• SDJ: Send data to Japan
• SHAB: Shift a bit
• SHLBM: Shift a little bit more
• SMR: Skip on meaningless result
• SOT: Sit on a tack
• SQSW: Scramble program status word
• SQPC: Sit quietly and play with your crayons
• SRSD: Seek record and scar disk
• SRZ: Subtract and reset to zero
• SSJ: Select stacker and jam
• STROM: Store in read-only memory

T

• TDB: Transfer and drop bits

U

• UER: Update and erase record

V

• VI: Virtually Incomprehensible

W

• WBT: Water binary tree
• WEMG: Write eighteen-minute gap
• WPM: Write programmer’s mind

X

• XSP: Execute systems programmer

Z

• ZAM: Zero all memory