Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminiert ihr gerade laufendes Programm und verschwindet mit den Worten “I’ll be back!”
Beamtenvirus
Nichts arbeitet, und Ihre Diagnose-Software sagt, dass alles in Ordnung ist.
Gallup Virus
60 Prozent des Computers sind mit 28 Prozent des Virus infiziert, der in 14 Prozent der Fälle möglicherweise einen Schaden anrichtet (plus oder minus 3,5 Prozent Toleranzgrenze), ausgenommen an Sonn- und Feiertagen.
Paradies Virus
Zeigt so lange schonungslos die Schwächen Ihres PCs auf, bis sie einen Apple kaufen.
Parteien Virus
Teilt Ihren Bildschirm in fünf Teile auf. Jeder Teil macht die anderen für das Problem verantwortlich.
Fluglinien Virus
Sie sitzen in Wien, aber Ihre Daten sind in Hongkong gelandet.
Koalitions Virus
Spart ein paar Megabyte auf der Festplatte ein.
Udo Jürgens Virus
Erzeugt trotz des schon fortgeschrittenen Alters ständig neue Dateien.
Punk Virus
Will Chaos-Tage auf Ihrem Computer veranstalten.
Jehova Virus
Kündigt penetrant an, dass Ihr Computer nicht mehr zu retten ist.
Halbe-Halbe Virus
Emanzipiert Ihren Computer so weit, dass er nur mehr die Hälfte der Arbeit verrichtet. (Weiterentwicklung des Dohnal-Virus.)
Microsoft Virus
Kreiert laufend neue Versionen, die Ihren Computer noch langsamer machen.
Twinnie Virus
Teilt den Bildschirm in einen grünen und orangen Bereich und lässt dem User die Entscheidung.
Bobbit virus
Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. Unfortunately, the area is permanently disabled.
Oprah Winfrey virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200 MB.
AT&T virus
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI virus
Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Paul Revere virus
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.
Politically correct virus
Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism.”
Right to life virus
Won’t allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a consultant about possible alternatives.
Ross Perot virus
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.
Mario Cuomo virus
It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Ted Turner virus
Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus
Terminates your session and then disappears. It’ll be back.
Dan Quayle virus
Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining a binary network.
Dan Quayle virus II
Thers sumthin rong wit yur komputer, butt ewe jsut cant figyour it out!
Government economist virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order virus
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Federal bureaucrat virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
Gallup virus
Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)
Terry Randle virus
Prints “Oh no you don’t!” whenever you choose “Abort” from the “Abort” “Retry” “Fail” message.
Texas virus
Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Congressional virus
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline virus
You’re in Dallas, but your data ends up in Singapore.
Freudian virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.
PBS virus
Your programs stop every few minutes asking for more money.
Elvis virus
Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.
Ollie North virus
Causes your printer to suddenly become a paper shredder.
Nike virus
Just does it.