Wenn Betriebssysteme Biersorten wären

DOS Bier Du mußt Deinen eigene Dosenöffner verwenden, und die Instruktionen zum öffnen müssen genau gelesen werden. Früher wurden 8er-Packs Dosen geliefert, heute bekommt man 16er-Packs, die allerdings in 8 mal zwei Kammern geteilt werden, damit die Packung beim Transport stabil bleibt. Die Produktion dieses Bieres wird bald eingestellt, aber die privaten Lagervorräte sind so groß, daß es noch lange getrunken werden kann. Mac Bier Es wurde früher ausschließlich in 16er-Packs geliefert und ist jetzt auch in 32er-Packs erhältlich. Dieses sogenannte Diätbier … weiterlesen…

Operating System for your Brain

Windows for brains You think about one of any number of things at anyone time but only for a short amount of time because then your mind goes blank as you encounter a “general protection fault” and as a last resort you have to re-boot your brain. DOS for brains You only think of one thing at one time, and can’t remember anything else you were meant to be thinking about. You think only in words and never any pictures. Unix for … weiterlesen…

True History Of The Net

[Key Players and Terms identified at end]

First there was God. He was quite lonely so he created Dennis.

Dennis was unimpressed with God.

So,… God created Brian.

But, Brian got bored with God.

So Brian and Dennis started playing, and they created C. God saw C, and saw that it was good. So he decided to let Brian and Dennis play some more.

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Computer Genesis

In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero; nothing. On the first day, He toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was. (In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and “active low” signals didn’t yet exist.) On the second day, God’s boss wanted a demo, and tried to read the bit. This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And the universe wasn’t. God learned the importance of backups and memory refresh, and spent … weiterlesen…

luser (8) manual page

LUSER(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS LUSER(8) NAME luser – process to control the clueless induviduals who (mis)use computer systems, peripheral devices and system administrators. Word play on “loser” and “user”. SYNOPSIS luser [-d] [-g <level> ] [-s] <lusername> DESCRIPTION luser is the primary tool a system administrator uses to manage end-user requests. This powerful tool can actually cause the specified user to perform actions as specified by the flags. With no flags, luser deletes every running process owned by the specified <lusername>. OPTIONS -d … weiterlesen…

uubp (5) manual page

UUBP(5) FILE FORMATS UUBP(5) NAME uubp – Unix-to-Unix beer protocol SYNOPSIS uubp [-acefghlqy] site DESCRIPTION uupb allows the user to transfer beer, ale, or other fermented grain beverages between network sites. Using TCP/IP (telecommunications protocol for imbibing pilsners), uubp encodes beer from a local file system into packets suitable for FTP (fermentation transfer protocol) delivery at a remote IP site. Example: % uubp -c”AMBER” -f0.7 -y0 -q2 198.137.240.100 The preceding example sends two six-packs (-q2) of amber ale (-c”AMBER”) with a fizziness … weiterlesen…

God logs in – more UNIX like

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said: And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.   And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2. And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2. Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.   And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.   And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, … weiterlesen…

sysadmin (1) manual page

SYSADMIN(1) USER COMMANDS SYSADMIN(1) NAME sysadmin – responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with the system you’re using. Contraction of “system” and “administrator” SYNOPSIS sysadmin [-ab] [-cd] [-ef] etc…… DESCRIPTION sysadmin takes care of everything, is generally harangued, must be supplied with coffee, chocolate, and alcohol in order to function properly, cannot be exposed to direct sunlight, and must not be allowed to have a life. sysadmin is not intended as a user interface routine; other … weiterlesen…