DOS Bier Du mußt Deinen eigene Dosenöffner verwenden, und die Instruktionen zum öffnen müssen genau gelesen werden. Früher wurden 8er-Packs Dosen geliefert, heute bekommt man 16er-Packs, die allerdings in 8 mal zwei Kammern geteilt werden, damit die Packung beim Transport stabil bleibt. Die Produktion dieses Bieres wird bald eingestellt, aber die privaten Lagervorräte sind so groß, daß es noch lange getrunken werden kann. Mac Bier Es wurde früher ausschließlich in 16er-Packs geliefert und ist jetzt auch in 32er-Packs erhältlich. Dieses sogenannte Diätbier öffnet sich selbsttätig, sobald man es aus dem Kühlschrank nimmt. Die Inhalsstoffe werden nicht angegeben, fragt man danach, bekommt man zur Antwort, daß man das nicht wissen müsse. Lediglich eine “Leere Dose bitte recyclen”-Aufschrift findet sich auf der […]
WeiterlesenSchlagwort: UNIX
Operating System for your Brain
Windows for brains You think about one of any number of things at anyone time but only for a short amount of time because then your mind goes blank as you encounter a “general protection fault” and as a last resort you have to re-boot your brain. DOS for brains You only think of one thing at one time, and can’t remember anything else you were meant to be thinking about. You think only in words and never any pictures. Unix for brains Wow – you can think of lots of things all at once until your brain runs out of sockets. However, you can only talk with people who have brains made by the same vendor. Unfortunately you also […]
WeiterlesenTrue History Of The Net
[Key Players and Terms identified at end] First there was God. He was quite lonely so he created Dennis. Dennis was unimpressed with God. So,… God created Brian. But, Brian got bored with God. So Brian and Dennis started playing, and they created C. God saw C, and saw that it was good. So he decided to let Brian and Dennis play some more.
WeiterlesenComputer Genesis
In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero; nothing. On the first day, He toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was. (In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and “active low” signals didn’t yet exist.) On the second day, God’s boss wanted a demo, and tried to read the bit. This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And the universe wasn’t. God learned the importance of backups and memory refresh, and spent the rest of the day ( and his first all-nighter ) reconstructing the universe. On the third day, the bit cried “Oh, Lord! If you exist, give me a sign!” And God created rev 2.0 of the bit, […]
Weiterlesenluser (8) manual page
LUSER(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS LUSER(8) NAME luser – process to control the clueless induviduals who (mis)use computer systems, peripheral devices and system administrators. Word play on “loser” and “user”. SYNOPSIS luser [-d] [-g <level> ] [-s] <lusername> DESCRIPTION luser is the primary tool a system administrator uses to manage end-user requests. This powerful tool can actually cause the specified user to perform actions as specified by the flags. With no flags, luser deletes every running process owned by the specified <lusername>. OPTIONS -d Disk reclamation mode. Remove all files in the home directory of <lusername>. -g <level> Grovel mode. Causes the specified luser to make an act of contrition to the sysadmin for past sins. The <level> indicates the severity of […]
Weiterlesenuubp (5) manual page
UUBP(5) FILE FORMATS UUBP(5) NAME uubp – Unix-to-Unix beer protocol SYNOPSIS uubp [-acefghlqy] site DESCRIPTION uupb allows the user to transfer beer, ale, or other fermented grain beverages between network sites. Using TCP/IP (telecommunications protocol for imbibing pilsners), uubp encodes beer from a local file system into packets suitable for FTP (fermentation transfer protocol) delivery at a remote IP site. Example: % uubp -c”AMBER” -f0.7 -y0 -q2 198.137.240.100 The preceding example sends two six-packs (-q2) of amber ale (-c”AMBER”) with a fizziness quotient of 70%, brewed using yeast of type 0 (saccharo-myces cerevisiae) to IP address 198.137.240.100, which is the IP address for the White House. RESTRICTIONS Both source and destination sites must be running uubp-daemon. In addition, local restrictions […]
WeiterlesenGod logs in – more UNIX like
In the beginning there was the computer. And God said: % Let there be light! Login: God Password: Omniscient Login incorrect. Try again. Password: Omnipotent Login incorrect. Try again. Password: Technocrat And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. % Let there be light! Unrecognizable command. Try again. % make light Done. % ./heaven && ./earth & # And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. Approx. funds remaining: $92.50. And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2. % Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light Unrecognizable command. Try again. % make firmament Done. % ./firmament […]
Weiterlesensysadmin (1) manual page
SYSADMIN(1) USER COMMANDS SYSADMIN(1) NAME sysadmin – responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with the system you’re using. Contraction of “system” and “administrator” SYNOPSIS sysadmin [-ab] [-cd] [-ef] etc…… DESCRIPTION sysadmin takes care of everything, is generally harangued, must be supplied with coffee, chocolate, and alcohol in order to function properly, cannot be exposed to direct sunlight, and must not be allowed to have a life. sysadmin is not intended as a user interface routine; other programs provide user-friendly front ends; sysadmin is used by everyone who can track him [her] down. With no flags, sysadmin reads its standard input up to an EOF, or a line which sysadmin wishes to parse, and then […]
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