#include <windows.h> #include <system_errors.h> #include <stdlib.h> char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; main() { if (detect_cache()) disable_cache(); if (fast_cpu()) set_wait_states(lots); set_mouse(speed, very_slow); set_mouse(action, jumpy); set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); printf(“Welcome to Windoze 3.999 “); printf(“(we might get it right or just call it Chicargo)\n”); if (system_ok()) crash(to_dos_prompt); else system_memory = open(“a:swp0001.swp”, O_CREATE); […]
WeiterlesenSchlagwort: Windows
The Last Holdout on Windows 95
There was a knock on the door. It was the man from Microsoft. “Not you again,” I said. “Sorry,” he said, a little sheepishly. “I guess you know why I’m here.” Indeed I did. Microsoft’s $300 million campaign to promote the Windows 95 operating system […]
WeiterlesenIf Microsoft was Headquartered in South Georgia
Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in South Georgia Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders Instead of an hourglass icon, you’d get an empty beer bottle Occasionally you’d bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag Dialog boxes […]
WeiterlesenZufall? Zahlenmystik mit Bill Gates
Der wahre Name von “dem” Bill Gates ist William Henry Gates III. Heutzutage ist er gut bekannt als Bill Gates (III) Durch Umwandlung der Buchstaben seines aktuellen Namens in die ASCII-Werte und durch Hinzufügen seiner (III) erhält man das folgende Ergebnis: B 66 I +73 […]
WeiterlesenAnti UNIX from MS-Windows Lusers
If Unix is the answer, then it must have been a stupid question. Unix is the only virus with a command-interface. How can an operating system from 1970 (UNIX) be more modern than an operating system from 1978 (VMS)? Unix – the first computer virus. […]
WeiterlesenBill Gates Quotes
“I don’t have any evidence of that… Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s alot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.” — Bill Gates, when asked about religion and God’s existence in “Time” magazine “Hey, […]
WeiterlesenHow did the chicken cross the road
NT Chicken Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure. OS/2 Chicken It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed. Win 95 Chicken You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it […]
WeiterlesenUndocumented Windows 95 errors
The following is a list of undocumented Windows 95 error codes which somehow got overlooked when printing the documentation. WinErr 001: Windows loaded – System in danger WinErr 002: No Error – Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error – Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous […]
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