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LUSER(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS LUSER(8) NAME luser – process to control the clueless induviduals who (mis)use computer systems, peripheral devices and system administrators. Word play on “loser” and “user”. SYNOPSIS luser [-d] [-g <level> ] [-s] <lusername> DESCRIPTION luser is the primary tool a system administrator uses to manage end-user requests. This powerful tool can actually cause the specified user to perform actions as specified by the flags. With no flags, luser deletes every running process owned by the specified <lusername>. OPTIONS -d … weiterlesen…

SYSADMIN(1) USER COMMANDS SYSADMIN(1) NAME sysadmin – responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with the system you’re using. Contraction of “system” and “administrator” SYNOPSIS sysadmin [-ab] [-cd] [-ef] etc…… DESCRIPTION sysadmin takes care of everything, is generally harangued, must be supplied with coffee, chocolate, and alcohol in order to function properly, cannot be exposed to direct sunlight, and must not be allowed to have a life. sysadmin is not intended as a user interface routine; other … weiterlesen…

BABY(1) USER COMMANDS BABY(1) NAME baby – create new process from two parent processes SYNOPSIS baby sex [ name ] SYSTEM V SYNOPSIS /usr/5bin/baby [ -sex ] [ -name ] AVAILABILITY The System V version of this command is available with the System V software installation option. Refer to Installing SunOS 4.1 for information on how to install and invoke baby. DESCRIPTION baby is initiated when one parent process polls another server process through a socket connection (BSD) or through pipes in … weiterlesen…

rtfm(1) UNIX Programmer’s Manual rtfm(1) NAME rtfm – read the fucking manual SYNOPSIS rtfm OPTIONS None, you have to read the manual for an answer. DESCRIPTION Used when lazy people ask stupid questions. Normaly cried out in vain. FILES /dev/null ENVIRONMENT Any. SEE ALSO man(1) DIAGNOSTICS Is an diagnostic. Since you are reading this you are getting the idea. BUGS Ha!

LART(1M) MISC. REFERENCE MANUAL PAGES LART(1M) NAME lart – Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool – use a lart to adjust lusers’ attitudes SYNOPSIS lart [ –use tool ] [ –bBfFgklp ] <lusername> DESCRIPTION lart adjusts the attitudes of those pesky, clueless people who rely upon their admins for everything from picking their mice off of the floor to turning on their monitors; namely, the luser(8). Running lart with the appropriate arguments will cause the specified luser to run away screaming in agony. Alternatively, … weiterlesen…

KNIFE(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS KNIFE(8) KNIFE knife, axe, cutter, chainsaw – tools to improve network performance via SNIP SYNOPSIS knife is used to control the network via Sysadmin Network Interrupt Protocol [SNIP]. DESCRIPTION Experience has shown that suitable application of these tools on the network can lead to improved network performance, as busy segments of useless traffic can be isolated from the important stuff (and the rest of the world, for that matter). However, care must be taken, otherwise lusers will be complaining … weiterlesen…