Schlagwort: man page

LUSER(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS LUSER(8) NAME luser – process to control the clueless induviduals who (mis)use computer systems, peripheral devices and system administrators. Word play on “loser” and “user”. SYNOPSIS luser [-d] [-g <level> ] [-s] <lusername> DESCRIPTION luser is the primary tool a system administrator uses to manage end-user requests. This powerful tool can actually cause the specified user to perform actions as specified by the flags. With no flags, luser deletes every running process owned by the specified <lusername>. OPTIONS -d Disk reclamation mode. Remove all files in the home directory of <lusername>. -g <level> Grovel mode. Causes the specified luser to make an act of contrition to the sysadmin for past sins. The <level> indicates the severity of […]

SYSADMIN(1) USER COMMANDS SYSADMIN(1) NAME sysadmin – responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with the system you’re using. Contraction of “system” and “administrator” SYNOPSIS sysadmin [-ab] [-cd] [-ef] etc…… DESCRIPTION sysadmin takes care of everything, is generally harangued, must be supplied with coffee, chocolate, and alcohol in order to function properly, cannot be exposed to direct sunlight, and must not be allowed to have a life. sysadmin is not intended as a user interface routine; other programs provide user-friendly front ends; sysadmin is used by everyone who can track him [her] down. With no flags, sysadmin reads its standard input up to an EOF, or a line which sysadmin wishes to parse, and then […]

BABY(1) USER COMMANDS BABY(1) NAME baby – create new process from two parent processes SYNOPSIS baby sex [ name ] SYSTEM V SYNOPSIS /usr/5bin/baby [ -sex ] [ -name ] AVAILABILITY The System V version of this command is available with the System V software installation option. Refer to Installing SunOS 4.1 for information on how to install and invoke baby. DESCRIPTION baby is initiated when one parent process polls another server process through a socket connection (BSD) or through pipes in the system V implementation. baby runs at a low priority for approximately 40 weeks then terminates with heavy system load. Most systems require constant monitering when baby reaches it’s final stages of execution. Older implentations of baby required […]

rtfm(1) UNIX Programmer’s Manual rtfm(1) NAME rtfm – read the fucking manual SYNOPSIS rtfm OPTIONS None, you have to read the manual for an answer. DESCRIPTION Used when lazy people ask stupid questions. Normaly cried out in vain. FILES /dev/null ENVIRONMENT Any. SEE ALSO man(1) DIAGNOSTICS Is an diagnostic. Since you are reading this you are getting the idea. BUGS Ha!

LART(1M) MISC. REFERENCE MANUAL PAGES LART(1M) NAME lart – Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool – use a lart to adjust lusers’ attitudes SYNOPSIS lart [ –use tool ] [ –bBfFgklp ] <lusername> DESCRIPTION lart adjusts the attitudes of those pesky, clueless people who rely upon their admins for everything from picking their mice off of the floor to turning on their monitors; namely, the luser(8). Running lart with the appropriate arguments will cause the specified luser to run away screaming in agony. Alternatively, you can make the luser buy you a beer, after killing all of their processes. OPTIONS -use tool Choose your weapon. If this option is not specified, the enviroment variable LART is used. If neither is set, a […]

KNIFE(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS KNIFE(8) KNIFE knife, axe, cutter, chainsaw – tools to improve network performance via SNIP SYNOPSIS knife is used to control the network via Sysadmin Network Interrupt Protocol [SNIP]. DESCRIPTION Experience has shown that suitable application of these tools on the network can lead to improved network performance, as busy segments of useless traffic can be isolated from the important stuff (and the rest of the world, for that matter). However, care must be taken, otherwise lusers will be complaining about “network downtime”. knife vs lart(1m) While knife can be used as a replacement for lart(1m), the reverse is not generally true; while blunt trauma works wonders on lusers, it tends to be ineffective on cables. Also, note […]