Comparing Programming Languages with Women

Assembler – A female track star who holds all the world speed records. She is hard and bumpy, and so is not that pleasant to embrace. She can cook up any meal, but needs a complete and detailed recipe. She is not beautiful or educated, and speaks in monosyllables like „MOV, JUMP, INC“. She has a fierce and violent temper that make her the choice of last resort. FORTRAN – Your grey-haired grandmother. People make fun of her just because she is old, but if you take the time to listen, you can learn from her experiences and her mistakes. During her lifetime she has acquired many useful skills in sewing and cooking (subroutine libraries) that no younger women can […]

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How did the chicken cross the road

NT Chicken Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure. OS/2 Chicken It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed. Win 95 Chicken You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like … chicken. Microsoft Chicken (TM) It’s already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road. OOP Chicken It doesn’t need to cross the road, it just sends a message. Assembler Chicken First it builds the road … C Chicken It crosses the road without looking both ways. C++ Chicken The chicken wouldn’t have to cross the road, you’d simply refer to him on the other side. […]

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Drug Dealers vs. Software Developers

Drug dealers Software developers Refer to their clients as „users“ Refer to their clients as „users“ „The first one’s free!„ „Download a free trial version…„ Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff) Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code) Strange jargon: „Stick,“ „Rock,“ „Dime bag,“ „E“ Strage jargon: „SCSI,“ „RTFM,“ „Java,“ „ISDN“ Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market Job is assisted by the industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes Job is assisted by industry’s producing newer, faster machines Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers Often seen in the company of marketing people and […]

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