WORF “Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead.” PICARD “On screen.” The main viewing screen changes to a pattern of horizontal lines, each only a single pixel wide. PICARD “Data, what’s wrong here?” DATA “Captain, the main viewscreen does not have sufficient video […]
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Star Trek: The MS Federation
Ever wonder what “Star Trek: The Next Generation” would be like in a future where Microsoft continued to dominate the software market? These are some scenarios that I came up with. If anyone has any additional suggestions, please email them to me. As the bridge […]
WeiterlesenTop 10 abgelehnte kostenlose Microsoft Hotlines
#10 +49-800-927-0470 (+49-800-WAS-IS) #9 +49-800-434-0934 (+49-800-GEH-WEG) #8 +49-800-380-3663 (+49-800-DU-DOOF) #7 +49-800-382-4783 (+49-800-DU-BIST-DUMM) #6 +49-800-424-2468 (+49-800-ICH-BIN-TAUB) #5 +49-800-385-6737 (+49-800-DU-LOSER) #4 +49-800-722-5477 (+49-800-SACKGASSE) #3 +49-800-677-7846 (+49-800-MS-STINKT) #2 +49-800-434-9874 (+49-800-GEH-ZUR-HOELLE) Und die Nummer 1 der abgelehnten, kostenlosen Hotline-Nummer des Microsoft technischen Supports lautet… +49-800-936-4683 (+49-800-WEN-INTERESSIERTS) Top 10 rejected […]
WeiterlesenThe Last Holdout on Windows 95
There was a knock on the door. It was the man from Microsoft. “Not you again,” I said. “Sorry,” he said, a little sheepishly. “I guess you know why I’m here.” Indeed I did. Microsoft’s $300 million campaign to promote the Windows 95 operating system […]
WeiterlesenThe 12 steps for getting away from Win95 and other MS products
We admitted we were powerless over Microsoft – that our computers had become unmanageable. Came to believe that an Operating System greater than Microsoft’s could restore our computers to sanity. Made a decision to turn our computers over to the care of this new Operating […]
WeiterlesenMicrosoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE)
#include <nonsense.h> #include <lies.h> #include <spyware.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */ #include <process.h> /* For the court of law */ #define say(x) lie(x) #define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE #define next_year soon #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version >> > void main() >> > { if (latest_window_version>one_month_old) { if (there_are_still_bugs) […]
WeiterlesenIf Microsoft was Headquartered in South Georgia
Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in South Georgia Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders Instead of an hourglass icon, you’d get an empty beer bottle Occasionally you’d bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag Dialog boxes […]
WeiterlesenIdiot’s Guide to Windows 95 Ads
Understanding Microsoft Marketing Multitasking: You can crash several programs all at once. No waiting! Built-in Networking: You can crash several PC`s all at once. No need to buy Novell Personal Netware or LANtastic to crash. Microsoft Network: Connect with other Windows 95 users and talk […]
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